Common Questions that Arise by Holiday Parties with Non-Jews

Introduction

I was asked by my dear friend, Harav Hagaon Rav Yossi Weberman, shlit”a, mara d’asra and moreh tzedek in Far Rockaway, New York, regarding the common practice among business owners, heads of institutions, and the like, to host or participate with their non-Jewish employees in a party in honor of their holiday, which raises several practical halachic questions:

1. Is it permitted to attend such a party if it is held in a non-kosher venue?
2. Is there a prohibition to sit and drink alcoholic beverages, such as wine or similar drinks, together with non-Jews, not in a restaurant or the like, but rather in a room or an office designated for that purpose?
3. Is it permitted for a Jewish employer to pay for his employees to host a party on their own in honor of their holiday if there is concern they may purchase food that includes basar b’chalav, or neveilos and treifos?

Is Sitting in a Non-Kosher Venue Forbidden Due to Maris Ayin?

Let us begin with the first potential issue: Is it permissible for a Jew to attend a party in honor of their (non-Jewish) holiday if the party takes place in a non-kosher restaurant, even when one does not eat there?

In Igros Moshe (Orach Chaim, 2:40), Rav Moshe Feinstein discusses whether it is permitted to eat in a restaurant that prepares only dairy foods but is owned by mechalelei Shabbos. He explains that even there, various issurim may arise, such as the possibility of non-kosher fish, oil used for frying that may come from non-kosher animals, forbidden cheeses, or concerns of bishul akum. Therefore, even entering such a place to eat food that is certainly kosher is forbidden due to maris ayin and chashad.

However, if one is in great distress from hunger and there is no other place to eat, he may enter and eat only food that is definitely kosher, provided this is done discreetly. This is based on the principle that in cases of great distress or loss (b’makom tzar or b’makom pseidah), Chazal did not apply their prohibitions, as we see from Kesubos 60a.

In practice, R’ Moshe writes that this means that there should not be people outside the restaurant who will recognize him, since those inside the restaurant, seeing that he takes only kosher food, will not suspect him of anything. If someone from the outside does recognize him, he must explain that he was in great distress and therefore entered to eat something kosher. However, if he is not in great distress, it is completely forbidden to enter such a place.

On the opposing side, Hagaon R’ Yaakov Kamenetsky zt”l held differently. In Emes L’Yaakov (Choshen Mishpat 425, note 27), he writes that if one needs to schedule a meeting in a non-kosher restaurant, there is no prohibition of maris ayin, because it is possible that he is entering such a restaurant to eat or drink kosher food or beverages, or to use the facilities. If someone is going to judge him l’kaf chovah—that is not his concern. On the contrary, he writes that if one is seated there and refrains from eating, it may even be considered a kiddush Hashem.

Nonetheless, most Poskim follow the view of the Igros Moshe and do not rely on the lenient opinion of R’ Yaakov, even if it is only a question of a maris ayin on an issur d’rabanan (e.g., in a case where people will suspect him of violating the issur d’rabanan of bishul akum).

Therefore, where a holiday party is held in a non-kosher restaurant, one should not attend, even if there is a concern for eivah (animosity), because of maris ayin and the potential for chilul Hashem. However, in cases where the party is held in a hotel or similar location, there is no issue in attending, since there are multiple reasons a person might enter a hotel, and it does not necessarily imply he is eating forbidden foods.

This was also the ruling of Hagaon R’ Dovid Feinstein zt”l. He also ruled that if the party is held in the office, even if non-kosher food is served there, there is no concern for maris ayin for him to remain in his workplace and he is not obligated to leave.

Drinking Alcoholic Beverages with Non-Jews

Why It’s Forbidden

Even if there is no concern of maris ayin, to sit and eat and drink together with non-Jews, even if the food and drink are kosher, is forbidden according to halachah.

In Yoreh Deah (114:1), it is explicitly forbidden to sit and dine together with non-Jews in their homes, even to drink beverages and the like.

Rav Moshe Feinstein clarifies in Igros Moshe (Yoreh Deah 2:117) that participating in feasts or even informal gatherings involving drinking with non-Jews could lead to concerns such as chasnus (intermarriage).

Sponsoring Parties with Non-Kosher Food

Business owners often wonder if they can fund employee parties where non-kosher food is served.

Machalos Asuros (Non-Kosher Food)

The Rema (Yoreh Deah 117:1) prohibits buying non-kosher food for non-Jewish workers, as it constitutes deriving benefit from forbidden items. However, leniencies exist, particularly when food choice is left to the employees.

Basar B’Chalav (Meat and Milk)

Additional restrictions apply when the menu includes meat and milk combinations. Some Poskim offer leniencies if the food is prepared by non-Jews, but it is preferable to avoid this scenario altogether.

Conclusion

While participation in holiday parties with non-Jews raises several halachic concerns, careful adherence to the rulings of Poskim ensures that one maintains integrity and avoids potential transgressions.