Parshas Chukas – Shalom
In this week’s Parsha, the Torah tells us that when Aharon Hakohen died, the entire Klal Yisroel mourned his death. Rashi explains that it was because of Aharon’s dedication to making shalom (peace) between husbands and wives that made his death so devastating to the masses. Everyone appreciated what a crucial confidant they had lost.
Chazal tell us that when a couple would come before Aharon, he would fabricate a story to each one separately, saying that their spouse privately expressed remorse, is sorry for fighting, and is wishful that it would end. When each partner heard about how the other was feeling, they would apologize and make up.
What seems difficult to understand, though, is how this charade worked time and time again, so much so that every couple, no matter how divided they were when they came in, left happily ever after. What was at the root of the effectiveness of such a game?
Rabbi Yehudah Shmidman explained that perhaps Aharon understood that even couples in very big fights, deep down, are really wishing that the fighting would end, such that peace and love would fill the home. These feelings stem from the neshama, which sees the value of others and appreciates connection. However, what prevents those feelings from practically expressing themselves is the thought that my spouse is hurting me, and they don’t even care. What Aharon was accomplishing by fabricating the expression of the spouse was that now each would know that it bothers the other that they are in pain and are sorry for causing it. As a result, the natural feelings of love would bubble and come forth, allowing for them to make peace and live happily ever after.
We should appreciate this lesson and allow shalom to reign supreme in our homes.
*Why it was permitted for Aharon to lie is beyond the scope of this work but is a question that should be addressed.*
Rabbi Anton
Download the PDF -> POWER OF NUMBERS