Parshas Va’era – 5785 – Intriguing Questions & Answers

May One Use a Boy’s Handwriting as a Means of Evaluating His Character?

Q: It’s become quite common in Israel for people to seek the expertise of a graphologist in revealing information about a boy’s character. What’s the boy really like? Everyone we ask says wonderful things, but what’s he really like? Is he truly happy? Is he genuinely kind? Is he humble and patient, even when no one’s watching? These are the questions we want answered, but of course, no one has those answers. This is why hiring an expert to analyze the boy’s handwriting seems so ideal. The question is, however, how do we get ahold of something he’s written? Would it be acceptable, for instance, to have a bachur in his yeshivah borrow some notes he’s taken in his learning? Also, is there any aspect of lashon hara involved here? Finally, are we even allowed to utilize such a resource, or is it regarded as some sort of witchery?

A: Let’s first clarify the fact that having someone borrow the boy’s notes so that you can show them to a graphologist is absolutely forbidden. Doing so would constitute a form of theft, under the general Halachah forbidding a borrower of an item to lend that item to a third party without the owner’s permission.

Regarding the potential for lashon hara, this is certainly problematic. In accord with the Chafetz Chaim (1:8), a graphologist who examines someone’s handwriting without that person’s knowledge and reveals unflattering information based on his analysis is engaging in slander. Whether stating his interpretations outright or somehow hinting at them indirectly, he transgresses, and you, in believing his interpretations, transgress.

The Chafetz Chaim (Be’eir Mayim Chaim 4) additionally notes that if one receives a letter from an individual that displays the individual’s lack of Torah erudition, or some sort of unflattering trait, one may not show the letter to someone else in order to exhibit the writer’s shortcomings. Doing so would constitute lashon hara.

Graphology does not constitute witchery, or kishuf, which involves attempts at foretelling the future. The graphologist’s analysis, however, concerns the writer’s current emotional/psychological state.

It should be noted that graphology isn’t an exact science. For example, factors such as the writer having been rushed, exhausted, nervous, or frustrated while he wrote can profoundly affect his handwriting, imparting aspects to the letters and words that reveal more about his momentary state than his core traits of character.

You’re trying to discover who the boy truly is, not how he felt as he wrote. So, exercise caution and common sense as you proceed.

And how should you proceed? The only way to utilize any insight a graphologist might offer is to obtain the boy’s handwriting sample with his permission and full knowledge of your intent. Also, the graphologist must be instructed to refrain from divulging any observations that are, for whatever reason, irrelevant to the matter at hand – namely, discerning whether or not the boy is a suitable match for your daughter. Any unflattering information falling outside this realm could not be regarded as permissible defamatory details that have a clear תּוֹעֶלֶת (an ultimately useful, beneficial purpose).

Pareve Kettle or Urn on Which Milk or Meat Spills

Q: I am often asked regarding the following scenario: a hot water urn is placed on a hot plate and is used for making coffee with milk. Occasionally, particularly on Shabbos, when a pot of cholent or meat dish is removed, a drop of the contents splashes onto the pareve urn. The question arises: is it permissible to drink water from the urn to make coffee with milk, or must the urn be kashered before using it with milk?

A: To properly address this question, one must delve into several topics, though space and time do not allow for an exhaustive discussion here. Nonetheless, we will briefly summarize the practical ruling and its reasoning.

In practice, my initial response depends on whether the urn is made from a single piece of metal or is an electric urn with multiple layers and Styrofoam insulation. If it is the latter, there is seemingly no issue, as the water is contained in an internal layer that the meat spill cannot reach due to the barrier between the layers.

If, however, the urn is made of a single piece of metal, the entire metal structure may have absorbed the meat. Although the water inside the urn may contain sixty times the volume of the spilled drop, effectively nullifying it, the urn itself remains like a meat pot. According to Ashkenazi custom, it is forbidden to use a meat pot—even if it is eino ben yomo (not used in the past 24 hours)—to prepare food of the opposite type.

Therefore, in such a case, it is forbidden lechatchila to prepare coffee with milk using water heated in a (now) meaty urn that is eino ben yomo. However, there is room to be lenient in certain circumstances:

1. If it is a type of vessel that is always used in large enough amounts (b’shefa) such that there will always be sixty times the amount of absorbed food.
2. The issue here is only a case of nat bar nat (secondary transfer of flavor) from an eino ben yomo utensil.

If no alternative urn is available, as in this case, it is permissible to use water from this urn after 24 hours have passed to prepare coffee with milk (although if this happened on Shabbos itself, it would not be permitted on that Shabbos). This is the ruling of the Binas Adam and many other Acharonim.

This is a brief summary and reasoning of the ruling, as there are many factors at hand here. B’ezras Hashem, we will expand on these issues in separate discussions in the future.