Parsha Corner: Vayeitzei – Embarrassment

Yakov suspected that Lavan would trick him by swapping out Rachel for Leah and as a security measure gave simanim to Rachel, that he would ask her to repeat under the chuppah, to confirm the identity of who the bride in fact was. When the day of the wedding came Lavan secretly made the exchange. In the moments leading up to the wedding Rachel had a very difficult decision to make, will I withhold the simanim thereby allowing myself the zechus to be married to one of the Avos and becoming the mother of all Klal Yisroel or give them to Leah and prevent her from becoming embarrassed? The Torah tells us that Rachel correctly decided to give the simanim away lest her sister becomes embarrassed.

Chazal highlights from this episode the great sacrifice one is to make to prevent someone from becoming embarrassed.

Rav Akiva Eiger once invited a guest to his Shabbos meal. During the meal the guest accidentally knocked his cup, and the contents spilled all over the fresh white tablecloth. Sensitive to the embarrassment the guest must have been feeling, Rav Akiva Eiger discretely knocked over his own cup and exclaimed, “It seems that the legs of the table are shaky, as both of our cups got knocked over.”

In every interaction we have with others we must be cognizant of their feelings and stay far away from embarrassing them. We must calculate how we disagree and be sure to never backhandedly dismiss their ideas as idiotic, because what’s at stake is probably not as significant as what Rachel gave up.

Rabbi Anton
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