Parshas Chayei Sarah – Chinuch

Although the standard is that the Parsha Corner focuses on the week’s parsha, this week’s is different because I came across a very beautiful idea and wanted to share it with you.

The Torah, at the beginning of last week’s parsha, discusses the episode with Avraham and his guests. Avraham had just undergone a bris milah, was old, and recovering, but nevertheless eager to host guests.

Hashem wanted Avraham to heal, so as a preemptive measure to ensure that happened, Hashem made it extremely hot so that no one would come. But when Hashem saw how enthusiastic Avraham was, He sent three angels to visit.

The Torah dedicates a few pesukim to describing the episode, highlighting the amazing love Avraham had for chesed.

The Rabbeinu Bechaya, appreciating the magnitude of Avraham’s chesed, remarks that:

“Avraham had 18,300 servants on his staff, yet he nevertheless wanted to do everything on his own. Wow! What a testimony to Avraham’s zerizus (alacrity) and generosity!!”

The Rabbeinu Bechaya was blown away!

Here’s Where the Dvar Torah Really Starts

The Torah tells us that after Avraham fetched the cows (which he planned to use to give each guest their own cow tongue!), he gave them to his son Yishmael to help prepare them.

Rashi explains that the reason Avraham involved Yishmael was to be mechanech him in chesed.

But let me ask you a question:

If the Rabbeinu Bechaya, who lived hundreds of years after this incident, was blown away by the high level of Avraham’s devotion just from reading and imagining the Torah’s descriptions, isn’t it reasonable—and surely true—that Yishmael was equally, if not more, inspired by what he actually saw?

If so, what does Rashi mean when he says that Avraham involved Yishmael to be mechanech him in chesed? Wasn’t seeing the story unfold the greatest chinuch lesson in chesed ever? What did Avraham see differently?

The Lesson

What seems clear is this: Avraham appreciated that just being exposed to greatness doesn’t automatically translate into becoming great yourself. The greatest way to ensure that your children internalize greatness is by involving them in your mitzvos.

No sitting on the couch and telling them what to do, or just having them watch you—rather, doing it together.

P.S. Even that may not work! (Yishmael went off the derech.)

Rabbi Anton

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